My truck is in the shop so I’m doing this on my phone. Forgive errors, please.
State of the Tootz Union – August 2015
- We’ve owned our home for 1 year, 2 months. In that time we’ve made small improvements like switching out every light fixture in the house (only to discover missing junction boxes behind more than half of them so we had to hire someone to put those in), switched out all the faucets except the kitchen one (because future reno) and the two bathtubs (because holy shit those are complicated!), painted two bathrooms (one of which is going to be re-painted), organized the laundry room into a laundry/linen closet/first aid cabinet, turned the second bedroom into an actual bedroom with some baby stuff tossed in for good measure, and converted the closet in the second bedroom into my own personal craft haven.
- My brother moved in a month (or 2? I have no concept of time anymore) ago and I have limited access to my haven. But I have access so whatever, it works. Only one real fight since he’s moved in and it wasn’t even that terrible. It was mostly just bad timing and hormones.
- I’m still a fucking fat ass, but the fatness is reducing. I FINALLY found a vitamin combination that helps me maintain some sort of normalcy and I’m off all medications thanks to a wonderful doctor who actually gives a shit. My brother, spousal unit, and I all joined a gym together and while I usually end up going alone, I’m pretty muchokay witht his so long as I have a good book or a movie downloaded. It turns out I can crush it on the elliptical if I have a book that sucks me in. Seriously – I went from 30 minutes and dying to get off to 50 minutes and “damn, I should probably stop before I turn to jelly” and then I stop and feel like I’m high as a kite. I just need to up this routine to more than 3 days a week which is my current regime. I need to up my game because it’s taken 2.5 months to lose 10 pounds. This shit is annoying. Meanwhile Dean and my brother are going 3-4 times a week and Dean has dropped almost 25 pounds in 6 weeks. Fucker.
- I’m making baby quilts as a form of infertility therapy. It’s an expensive hobby (seriously, batting is fucking expensive!) but it’s very therapeutic and I’m getting better at it as I go on. I’ve posted the ones I’ve done alone and the ones I’ve done with a friend (she’s the one who taught me) and they’re here if you’re interested. Baby quilts are expanding to lap quilts for adults in my life, but I’m not there just yet. I have the fabric for two more (one baby, one lap) but I got all hormonal and periody and my kitchen is small and ARGH! So they’re on hold for another week maybe. My brother also wants me to make him a t-shirt quilt. That’s gonna take a little more effort than I’ve got in me at the moment. Also: space to do it.
- Money continues to be a source of frustration and joy. Every time we pay something off, we get another round of debt. A few months ago we took a chunk of savings out to pay off a good chunk of them only to rack it all back up when Dean had his foot surgery. His surgery, by the way, was a financial fucking nightmare. His entire leave was unpaid AND we were expected to pay his insurance premiums while he was out of work at the full rate, not the normal portion he pays. Essentially, we went from “we will barely squeak by without your income” to “oh fuck me sideways, we’re $5,000 back in debt because I need to pay the bills, feed us, and pay the mortgage” because I forgot one very crucial week of no pay. I had it in my head as 2 paychecks but it was actually 3. That’s a big hit. Eventually his employers took some pity on us and did what they could to make it easier, but the damage was done and we were right back in debt with a now somewhat depleted savings account. So here we are a few months later and I had to take a loan out to consolidate our credit cards once again! We also financed some new well made and expensive furniture because all the cheap stuff we’ve bought has broken. Literally broken and warranties have not been honored for the STUPIDEST reasons so seriously FUCK YOU Ashley Furniture. Upside: new furniture is 0% interest so yeah, awesome!
- Part of that debt was because we’ve got our annual trip to the beach that is 2/3 paid for already (because I plan like a motherfucker) but then I added a surprise anniversary trip for my spouse (again, planning like a motherfucker) that is also partially paid for. I feel like this is the shit you’re supposed to be in debt for. Life is too damn short to not enjoy parts of it. Yes, it sucks to work our asses off to have a fun week here and there, but this won’t be forever. We’re getting better and better with our money and one day I hope to be totally debt free.
- I’m finally going to get my leg tattoo finished next month. I started this in February 2014 and will finsih it in September 2015. I hope. I have waited for months to get this scheduled and long story short, there was a mix up and I got fucked time-wise because of it. Oh well. At this point I just want to be done with it. I’ve abandoned the background idea so I can finished the centerpiece and get the details I want. The background can be done by another artist at another shop for all I care because its 90% shading anyway. The details are in the centerpiece and that’s the important part to me. Yet another thing to set money aside for, but I have to have this finished and settled before IVF begins so I’ve got a few months to lose more weight and let ink settle.
- I’m in another reading phase again. I go months (or even years) without picking up a book and then one day pick one up and devour 2 dozen in a month. Recently I got totally sucked into paranormal romance and action romance novels. I blame having a kindle and free previews of books for this. You know what though? I’m totally okay with this and I don’t care who judges me for it. I don’t like the books most people love. I hate the majority of “the classics” and my Goodreads list is weird and has all sorts of oddball books and that’s fine by me. I don’t like to read stuff just because EVERYONE is reading it. Every now and then I will to see what the fuss is about and sometimes I end up liking them (Gone Girl is a perfect example – thought I’d hate it, not the type of book I usually like, and then I ended up enjoying it.) I’m the same way with movies too. odds are if it’s a critics choice or critically acclaimed, I’m gonna hate it, but maybe once in a while I’ll like one or two.
- Possibly related to the romance novels, but more likely related to a new regimen of vitamins (no more meds, hormones, or birth control for me AT ALL), exercise, and mental health improvement, my sex life is also improving. The spark in my loins is slowly returning and my libido has made an appearance. Perhaps the hibernation is over? It’s too early to tell, but I can say that July was a very eventful month… we went from once a month (maybe) with big 8 -12 week gaps to 4 times in 3 weeks. We’re both initiating, my body is actually responding, and the fun part of it has returned. The pressure of baby making is gone and it’s just sex for the sake of sex and intimacy.It’s refreshing and I hope it lasts because it’s made a big difference in our marriage.
- Nola is still showing high alkaline levels. In fact, they’ve jumped up 550 points since her visit in January so more blood work was ordered. They still don’t have an answer so a more intensive ultrasound with an internist is the next step. Then who knows what. Dean and I weighed out the pros and cons of doing this ultrasound and ultimately we decided we need to know one way or another. I’d never forgive myself if we didn’t do this and something serious developed that caused her agony. That being said, this ultrasound could reveal something serious now and then THE decision would need to be made. I also took Lily in for a check up since she felt like she’d lost some weight and we’re also considering getting two more kittens. I wanted to make sure my little Bunchkin was in good health. Naturally her blood work came back all sorts of fucked up and the first worry was feline leukemia so I spent an hour in the bathtub crying with a bottle of wine while she walked around the tub perimeter. More blood work was done and… nothing. They have no idea why she’s lost so much weight other than the move to the new house could have caused a lot of stress. Her blood work showed all sorts of oddball results so she could just be a little oddball. At least now we have a baseline. End result: we’re waiting on the kittens until we know what’s going on with Nola, are done traveling in October, and can get a little more cash together for adoption fees, spaying/neutering, and some more cat things like a litter box and toys.
- My mom is moving in a few weeks/months. Not sure the exact date because the house has taken a long time to work on and fix up for selling and she’s doing almost all of it herself, but it will likely be in the middle of all my traveling so I’m hoping to use the rest of my PTO to do that. She’s currently shifted gears to start packing the house and figuring out what goes to storage and what goes with her so she can finish the house with less shit in it. The packing suddenly made it all very VERY real to me. I’m simultaneously heartbroken and supportive. I want her to be happy, get away from her clingy co-dependent family, get away from her ex, get away from the house, and find herself again. I want the artist in her to come back out and maybe she’ll even write a book. The point is, I want this for her because I know she needs it. But I’m sad because I’m so fucking close to her that I can’t even think about her moving without losing it. She will only be a few hours away, but it will be another state and require a road trip when I want to see her. The upside: many road trips to the beach in the off season and alone time with my mom. Simultaneously supportive and devastated.
- Work is kicking my ass. Next month is my official 10 year anniversary (unofficial was May because I started as a temp working for an agency and then got hired on permanently a few months later in September) and I’m not sure how I feel about my job anymore. Part of me LOVES what I do and part of me hates that I’ve hit a wall and the internal politics have fucked me over in so many ways. There are several reasons for me to keep trudging along and working my ass off and then there are days when I want to walk out and never look back. That being said: ten years! Holy fucking shit. I never thought I’d last this long or that there would continue to be projects in my area to keep me here for so long, but here I am and here I’ll stay until I can’t anymore.
I’ve got nothing else at the moment and my truck is ready to be picked up. Thus concludes the semi-annual State of the Tootz.