house hunting, vikings, baby quilts, and tattoos


House hunting is a motherfucking ORDEAL.

I did this once before when Chet and I were on the brink of failure but I decided I wanted a house and he could move in. Oh man was I stupid. It was only a two week hunt in which I saw 1 possible meth den, another with a flooded living room and a hole in the wall where he pipe was leaking (excellent staging!), and then a house older than my grandfather. Then there was that miscarriage the day I was going to put an offer on a split-level condo that I didn’t truly want but was the only one that seemed half-way decent and I had to have my mom call the realtor for me because I was a mess. Suffice to say, it wasn’t meant to be.

So here I am many years later with the spousal unit hunting for a new home. I know this will only be a 5 year house. I also know that use the term “house” loosely because everything we look at is either a condo, split-level condo, or town house. The distinction between the 3 is vague and this whole split-level thing seems to be extremely common here but not so common elsewhere. Go figure. I have “realistic expectations” according to my realtor and the more I search, the more I’m willing to compromise. The areas I will NOT compromise on: must be 3 bedroom -OR- 2 bedroom plus a third space for office/crafting/turtle abode, must have a newer kitchen, must have 1.5+ bathrooms, and must have a soaking tub. All that for the low low price of $250,000 or less. I think our realtor was shocked at how low maintenance we are. So far she’s been a gem and I love her because she’s all about going with your gut feeling. If the house doesn’t feel right then don’t bother. Same with the lender she works with. All that for the low low price of $250,000 or less.

Reigning my husband’s searching in is another story. The man is NOT grasping that $250,000 is the absolute maximum and it’s getting frustrating. I’m the one in charge of money and dude is either being a stubborn mule or just not getting it through his head. Then he finds one that’s just under $260 and it’s perfect on so many levels… except the cost. Dude, we only have so much for a down payment. There’s closing costs and mortgage insurance on top of that. The realtor thinks she can get the price into our range. I’m less than confident of this because we’d be asking them to drop the price AND eat the closing costs. That being said, in an area where houses fly off the market shelves in 24 hours, to have your house still be on the market for 2 months means you’re doing it wrong so there’s a wee tiny fraction of hope for us. I’m not holding my breath. I’m looking at houses much closer to our range and mentally building organizational shelves and moving our furniture around.

Moving on… you know how I mentioned Chet above? Yeah, that guy has been in my head way too much lately. I had this awesome dream where we met up and talked about what happened and why we failed, had a good hug and kiss, and then decided to be friends. I woke up feeling like a chapter had closed inside. Turns out it wasn’t quite closed though.

A few weeks later, we started watching Vikings and holy fucking shit does that lead character look like a younger somewhat thinner version of Chet. It’s something in the way he twitches one of his eyes when he smiles and something in his crazy head-cocking motions that’s just WOAH! THAT’S CHET! Plus the mostly bald head and crazy blue eyes that get crazy bright blue in certain lights. There are also the luscious lips they share. It’s ridiculous how similar they are. The thing is, while the character Ragnar is rough, barbaric, tough as nails, brilliant, and has a hell of a strategic mind (exactly like Chet), there are two big differences between him and my ex. Ragnar is incredibly spiritual and devoted to the rituals of his gods. He also openly loves his wife and adores his children. He openly loves and openly emotes. He even cries once (or twice) in the show and then it hit me. This Ragnar dude is what I believed in my heart (and what I held out for) that Chet was capable of and there’s this piece of me that’s a little sad over it. And conflicted because I ADORE the character and want to be hot for his Viking body, but then the sadness.

Being in an extremely open and honest relationship with my husband means he is fully aware of this. I can’t hide shit from him even if I tried. Sure, we fight like monsters sometimes, but there are no secrets with us. When a TV show has me conflicted about something from my past, I tell my husband so I can process it and move the fuck on from it.

Meanwhile, I fucking LOVE that show. Holy shit! I’ve gotten myself sucked into many shows in the last year that have left me feeling many feelings. It’s nice to conclude some (Walking Dead, The Blacklist) and move on to another others (Game of Thrones, Vikings) and let them fill in each others gaps. It keeps my brain busy.

Also keeping my brain busy? I’m quilting again. I made one for my mother in law then made 3 elaborate pillows… and then stopped. Then there were many pregnancy announcements at work and suddenly quilts to be made and my coworker is a quilting genius so she’s been tutoring me. Now I have 3 lined up to make and I just started one. I have fabric purchased for about 3 others too because I see fabric and have to have it despite the cost. (Seriously, don’t even get me started on how much money I’ve spent in the last year.)

And lastly, I started a massive leg tattoo about 2 months ago and it’s Legend of Zelda themed (specifically Twilight Princess). I LOVE this thing, but it’s killing me. First session was outlining and my entire leg blew up into a red swollen nightmare. I was also very sick at the time so when I went to the doctor and got antibiotics and steroids, I didn’t even mention the ink and sure enough, the meds for the bronchitis and such ended up making my leg calm down. So session number 2 was two weeks later and we only got a small area done because holy details, Batman! This healed quickly and smoothly. Session number 3 was 3 weeks ago. We got a huge portion knocked out. Alas, I made rookie mistakes (too much A&D, not enough air exposure, wore leggings to soon after, and shaved too close before the ink session) so I broke out into massive ingrown hair zits. They ended up morphing into boil-like beasts and holy fuck, the PAIN. A couple ruptured and eased up the pain and all but one healed 2 weeks later so I cancelled session #4.

Session #5 (which is now #4) was set for this weekend, but I’ve got a new monster on my leg that has surpassed the size of a grapefruit and now actively hurts my entire calf. Something is definitely wrong so I’m going to the dermatologist tomorrow. I’m mad at this. I get the first round of bumps and pain, but this new one developing out of the blue and now hurting my calf and up into my knee? FUCK YOU, SKIN! I just want to finish this thing. So now I’ll wait to see what the dermatologist says, but then I’m postponing session #4. Meanwhile I have a half-way completed tattoo on my leg. Such is life.

So there you have it. House hunting, Vikings, ex-boyfriends, baby quilts, and tattoos. That’s me in a nutshell I think.


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