writers block


I feel like twitter and facebook have ruined my ability to blog. That, and my daily life is pretty routine. Nothing happens that can’t be summed up in a few sentences. I don’t feel the need to blog evry moment of every day. I don’t even update twitter daily. There’s also this pesky thing called a job and since I don’t make my money off blogging, writing tends to be put on the back burner. I’m not as angsty as I used to be either – I don’t feel the need to bitch about things on the internet or going on in the world. I read about them, I have my opinions, and then I move on.

To me, there’s other shit I should be doing instead of spending time writing. Or posting pictures on flickr (although I need to do that because that was more artistic expression and I miss it). I feel like I take time away from something else to write. But it’s not like my life is exciting. It’s not like I couldn’t squeeze another hour out of the day if I needed to. Somehow I’m always busy, but not in a taxing way. I’m certainly not lazy.

If I were to sum up this week, it would look like this:

Saturday: Dean worked till 4. I made ornaments with my mom and stayed in my pajamas till 4, then got together and Dean and I went to a friend’s house to watch the UFC fight, had heated debate with home owner about fantasy football.

Sunday: let Dean sleep in while I cleaned our abode, took the dog for a leisurely morning stroll, did more crafty goodness with ornaments, wreaths, and then cross stitched while watching documentaries. Got sucked into Game of Thrones on a whim since all of Season One was available in the On Demand menu. Went to bed late.

Monday: overslept, got to work late, worked all day, picked up clothes from Lane Bryant (free shipping to store!) after work, got home and took the dog out, prepared dinner, Dean came home and we went back to Game of Thrones.

Tuesday: repeat Monday except we had a squabble over text during the work day, walked the dog, when he got home we went to dinner to talk, resolved our issues, had a cute moment in the parking garage, back to Game of Thrones and finished the season which left us both going “WOAH!”

Wednesday: another repeat of work routine, returned/exchanged clothes at Lane Bryant, spent an extra hour in traffic due to bullshit, Dean had a company Christmas party so I went to Wendy’s for dinner, came home and took the dog out, then spent the evening on the bed putting laundry away, putting a Christmas music playlist together on the ipod for a road trip on Friday with mom, Dean came home, talked about our days, talked about gifts for everyone, and I reviewed the budget and bills while he flipped channels, went to bed.

Today: work. After work is my company Christmas party so I’ll go home, get dolled up, do any last minute small things I can do for tomorrow’s road trip, and then we’ll head out when Dean gets home. Party party party.

Tomorrow: Mom’s birthday present is a trip to Longwood Gardens in PA and it is now our annual mother-daughter routine. They have a stunningly beautiful light display, extraordinary floral displays in the green houses, Christmas song sing-alongs in the organ room, and various other holiday things. Home late.

Saturday: Dean will work and I will head out to get last minute requirements for gifts, come home and assemble them, and then wrap up. Then it will be helping the household prepare for guests and a day of fun on Sunday.

Sunday: My family’s version of Chanukah!

See? It’s all pretty routine. I mean part of me wants to detail things further. Like how mom and I made the wreaths. I do take pictures of everything still, I just don’t post them anywhere. I get it in my head that I’ll write a step-by-step of something, but then I say to myself “It’s been done – that’s how you figured out how to do this”. Still, it’s about personalizing the experience for yourself. Part of me wants to post more pictures, but when I’m writing, it’s usually not at my computer and I don’t have my pictures on hand. And then the biggest issue is I doubt myself. I just about deleted this whole entry because I didn’t think it was worth reading. You don’t even want to know how many posts I’ve deleted for that very same reason.

I do have two other blogs, but I post in them as frequently as I do in this one… about once a month. I guess with 3 blogs in total that means I’m about 3 posts a month. I feel odd dividing myself into 3 pieces, but I also feel like putting everything in one blog is weird. You can’t go from smut to pre-pregnancy issues to how to craft an ornament wreath without leaving people shaking their heads. That and I never know who will find what and I just don’t want to take the chance. I‘m giving you the option to find them and read for yourself, but not shoving them down your throat either. (You don’t have to look too closely to find them in this paragraph.)

And then I get to the point where I want to stop writing because I can’t think of anything else to say, but I have no closing line. You don’t even want to know how many entries have sat still because I can’t find a way to wrap them up. Maybe I’ll just start ending them all with “the end”. How about right now?



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