You can have all the plans in the world, but the minute reality steps in, all that changes. That is definitely why the wedding stuff has changed so many times. I had grand thoughts and ideas, but with a minuscule budget that shrank due to other needs/wants/desires and lack of family help, it all fell apart. Then it became a game of priorities and time constraints so we thought about the courthouse. Then we found out our friends did that but didn’t tell anyone (but us, obviously) and it kind of cheapened it for us.
In the end, we decided on two events: a marriage ceremony now followed by dinner and a vow renewal followed by a full wedding reception next year exactly one year later. To make it possible for people to attend next year, we stayed with our October 27th date and decided this year would be the inconvenient one for everyone since it’s way less people.
It all came down to priorities, what was better for us in the long run, and money. Getting married this year allows us to make a lot of decisions, file our taxes together and get our credit in sync, begin the process of pooling money for fertility treatments, and eventually think of buying a house. We can pay for our wedding next year and our honeymoon because we’re moving in with my parents. Oh but that reality thing? Yeah it bit us again… someone crapped out and paying for dinner is now on us. Yay. But this is why I prepare for the worst.
Tomorrow we meet with the minister and talk about the ceremony. Next week I get Dean’s ring back with an engraving that he has no idea about. The excitement has set in and I’m counting down the days (39!) until I’m a Mrs. I can’t wait for Dean to see me. I can’t wait for my dad to officially give me away. I can’t wait for the surprises…
I have a poem I’m sneaking into the ceremony that will tie into the engraving. He won’t see my dress till the day of. I have chosen to walk down the gazebo aisle to “clair de lune” with my father. All of this romance finally came out of me and the desire to surprise Dean is huge. I’m more excited about those surprises than anything else. Okay well not quite… being his wife is number one, but the surprises are a close second.
I think because everything is decided and figured out, I’ve finally allowed myself to feel how real this all is. I’ve allowed myself to relax and finally enjoy the process. Now it’s just a matter of time before it’s all set in.
And then the minimoon (mini honeymoon) right after! We weren’t planning on doing anything right after the “I do”. In fact, I was planning on us spending the time moving in all the way, but then someone gave us an option of a time share for a few days, I talked to my boss about it, and POOF!
It’s generosity like that that’s allowed us to have a wedding at all. A photographer who’s working with our budget and making our day special rather than focus on a profit. A family friend giving us time at their beach front time share so we have a minimoon. A friend of mine doing my make up for free so I feel pretty on the big day. People helping me find ties and shoes and other things online so I save as much as I can but still get great things for the wedding. Without all this generosity, this wedding wouldn’t be happening. I am truly blessed and grateful for all of it.
Only 39 days to go!