Apparently all I do in this blog is brag about the awesomeness that is my mate. At least it’s for good reason. Sometimes I think I appreciate my man about a million times more than most women do theirs because I’ve been through hell and back prior to Superman Dean.
Lately my stress levels have been through the roof. I hit the point at work where I took on a little too much responsibility and then some was just up and thrown on me. There isn’t much I can do about it either. On the one hand, I want the challenge and I love staying busy. On the other hand, I haven’t taken a real significant break since last December and haven’t been taking breaks along the way.
I can only take this for so long before I snap. Unfortunately I snap long before I even realize I’ve snapped. It’s taken several breakdowns and a meltdown here and there for one of my good friends and Dean to point out to me that it’s time to ask my boss for some temporary help. I finally did and she’s starting Monday, but just because the help is on the way doesn’t mean my relief has started. Knowing I have to train this person before the help can sink in is part of the problem.
With all of this stress comes a complete loss of control over myself. I’ve been trying for weeks to hide the majority of it from Dean, but here and there it’s slipped out. He’s been supportive in small (but very meaningful) ways and I don’t discount those at all, but I don’t think he even had a clue how bad it was getting.
Then this weekend I had the mother of all meltdowns. Dean started to get feisty with me over something tiny and I tried so hard to pull myself together and talk it out, but he held firm in his irritation and then I snapped. I literally crumbled to the floor and sat there crying because I just couldn’t take a single minute more. It’s safe to say that at this point Dean finally saw the full effect of everything going on and he joined me on the floor until I think I emptied my tear ducts entirely.
From there on out, he completely took care of me. The plans we had were axed and instead we just stuck with one. I wanted to go to Ikea and get a few pieces of furniture since I suddenly had the means to do so (recent credit card increase) and not only did he help me shop, but when we got home, Dean took my dog out, made me dinner, and then made me explode in bed. Today? Same thing. He assembled all the furniture I got, kept walking my dog every time she needed to go out, and kept blowing my mind in the sack.
He has really stepped up to support. It’s so foreign to me to be allowed to be weak for a minute or two. I have always had to be the strong one, but now I get to lean on someone. It means more to me than he could ever know. He’s my Superman and I’m Lois Lane.