time to make sticky!

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I haven’t written about sex in eons. Don’t worry, I’m not about to go into too much detail and write things out. Instead, I have say a few things about why my sex life is currently awesome. Nay, FUCKAWESOME.

I have a weird past when it comes to sex. Things that are not common knowledge: I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend only to later find out he was sexually fucked in the head, had been abused as a child, forced some crazy things on me, pressured me to do things I didn’t want to do, and eventually beat me up. Fun, right? Yeah, except not at all. So I went from him into a slut phase that lasted several years so I could figure out my sexuality. I succeeded and in the midst of it I met Stone. Oh the fun we had! If only he had been permanent. Alas, it was not meant to be so I decided to get serious again, met Chet, and thought I was going down that holy matrimony road.

Hindsight being 20/20 how the fuck could I spend my life with a man I was so sexually incompatible with? I shit you not, that man was my arch nemesis when it came to sex. He had the stamina of a virgin, the insecurity of a teenage girl when it came to his penis size, rejected my advances so many times I eventually stopped trying, refused to discuss our problems in the bedroom, never EVER responded to my naked photos or the explicit video I sent him, and one day told me I was no longer allowed to make jokes or anything and that “if it’s gonna happen, it will happen when I’m good and ready. It shouldn’t be planned out so stop talking about it.” Oh joy!

Now I have a man who not only frequently entices me verbally, but he will even teabag me when I’m on the phone with my mom just to get a laugh out of me. If an issue arises, we talk about it and let it go. He has absolutely NOTHING to worry about in the *ahem* size department and as far as stamina goes, I have a variety and therefore have absolutely zero complaints. I have someone I can talk to. Someone who will fuck me at the drop of a hat. Someone who I can show the goodie drawer to that won’t judge and will instead get a little excited about. Someone that will sit there and watch a really bad porno with me just for the hell of it. In other words, he’s the exact opposite of what I just left behind and is, in essence, my perfect match.

That, and he gives me multiple orgasms every single time he gets me naked. Could I ask for more? Probably not. There, I said it. I feel better now.

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