Back story: When I wake up in the mornings (during the work week) I don’t turn a light on, I turn the TV on. I leave it on the news so I can be updated on the world while I get ready. I stick to Fox (NOT FoxNews Channel) because it’s the only station with a local news crew in the mornings. I HATE Good Morning America and shows like that… I want my DC crew, damn it!
Anyway, then the BP oil spill happened and it depressed me so deeply that I had to change channels. Somehow I stumbled across TBS and my world shifted in a new and wonderful way! It’s a good change of pace. Anyway, this happened over the course of three days…
SBTB Part One:
T: OMG. Zack and Kelly broke up because Kelly kissed her boss Jeff! My day is going to be ruined now. That SLUT!
D: who are Zach and Kelly?
T: Saved by the Bell!
D: omg… that was pretty funny
T: hahaha I knew you’d finally get it =D
D: I got it when you said saved by the bell. We have just been slammed busy
T: I know. You’re at work. I don’t ever expect an immediate response. Kelly is still a slut.
D: haha hater
T: She cheated on Zack! She kissed her boss at The Max. The college guy Jeff and THEN she didn’t even tell Zack – he had to pry it out of her at the dance. Whore.
D: such hatred towards Kelly Kapowski… what about that tramp Lisa Turtle keeps leading screech on?
T: that’s a whole other can of worms. At least she was outright with her hatred
SBTB Part Two:
T: Oh I meant to tell you this morning that Kelly got her karma. Dude she cheated on Zach with (Jeff) cheated on her! The world has righted itself once again.
D: haha good to know
T: Don’t worry. I’ll keep you informed as things progress in the mornings.
D: ok good to know
T: Don’t act like you’re not waiting with baited breath!
D: oh my, it’s not an act, but you are funny
SBTB Part Three:
T: Oy. This morning its been chaos with Jessie and Slater. Slater’s old GF came back to town and Jessie went all SWF on him. It’s okay tho, in the end Jessie won
T: It was a Jessie-centric morning. Before that [episode], her stepbrother from NY showed up and made her life hell. But Lisa fell for him. But he left. Poor Lisa.
D: poor Lisa… she has Screech. And what about the time Zach made out with her and Screech caught them! God I hate Dustin Diamond.
T: Screech was like an attention rapist. Lisa made it clear from day one she didn’t want him and yet he pursued. His unwanted advances forced her to Zach.
T: He’s a douche now. All those years of being an attention rapist on the show carried through until ultimately there was a sex tape. More forcing himself on us!
D: did you watch the sex tape? I think have a secret crush on Screech
T: You got me. I secretly lust after pale, skinny, curly-haired Jewish attention rapists with anger management issues. SO HOTT!