Monthly Archives: June 2010

turbo great

Standard

So it turns out I cant write for shit lately. This seems to only happen when I’m deliriously happy. When I’m angry, bitchy, sad, depressed, or any other emotion I can pour out entry after entry. But when I’m happy? Its like my brain gets constipated. I can’t make the words come out of my head, through my fingers, and onto the screen. I’ve got half a dozen posts started right now, but can only get so far before I abandon them.

Basically the last few weeks have consisted of being courted by this really incredible guy who has shown me how great a relationship can be. If you were grading me on a scale of progression in men, I’d say I’ve gone from F- with Ryan to C with Chet to A++ with Dean. Naturally at the time, I felt that things were great as they were with Ryan – he was my first everything from first kiss to first black eye. Chet was the biggest learning lesson of my life and made me even stronger than I ever thought I could be. The problem is, I didn’t know how much more I could have in my life.

You dont know what you’ve been missing until you’re suddenly inundated with an abundance of greatness. Then you can’t help but look back at the past and see all the flaws. You don’t see all the bullshit you tolerated until you suddenly don’t have to deal with it and you no longer have to walk on eggshells.

Recently Dean and I have had a few conversations that lead to great outcomes. One of them lead to public declaration of our relationship (isn’t it ridiculous that it’s not official until it’s Facebook official?) and another one lead to him calming me down to such a degree that I actually cried. Why? Because I haven’t ever have a guy who gave enough of a shit to ask me how I am and not only that, but also to provide a solution to my woes AND make me feel better.

So really, Dean is this mega super turbo great guy who has me feeling stupid and giggly and nervous and excited and wonderful all at once. I look forward to each text message. I can’t wait for our brief evening chat on his ride home from work. I hate the distance some days. I miss him when he’s gone. It’s just… great.

Plus, the sex has been really fucking great and I’ve had entirely too much sweaty naked fun with that man. He’s doing his best at trying to break in my severely underused body, but thats another entry entirely that I’ve actually started to write already that I think might actually get finished soon.

And thats it really… I’m enjoying falling for a great guy and I’m really happy. 🙂

saved by the text

Standard

Back story: When I wake up in the mornings (during the work week) I don’t turn a light on, I turn the TV on. I leave it on the news so I can be updated on the world while I get ready. I stick to Fox (NOT FoxNews Channel) because it’s the only station with a local news crew in the mornings. I HATE Good Morning America and shows like that… I want my DC crew, damn it!

Anyway, then the BP oil spill happened and it depressed me so deeply that I had to change channels. Somehow I stumbled across TBS and my world shifted in a new and wonderful way! It’s a good change of pace. Anyway, this happened over the course of three days…

SBTB Part One:

T: OMG. Zack and Kelly broke up because Kelly kissed her boss Jeff! My day is going to be ruined now. That SLUT!
D: who are Zach and Kelly?
T: Saved by the Bell!
D: omg… that was pretty funny
T: hahaha I knew you’d finally get it =D
D: I got it when you said saved by the bell. We have just been slammed busy
T: I know. You’re at work. I don’t ever expect an immediate response. Kelly is still a slut.
D: haha hater
T: She cheated on Zack! She kissed her boss at The Max. The college guy Jeff and THEN she didn’t even tell Zack – he had to pry it out of her at the dance. Whore.
D: such hatred towards Kelly Kapowski… what about that tramp Lisa Turtle keeps leading screech on?
T: that’s a whole other can of worms. At least she was outright with her hatred

SBTB Part Two:

T: Oh I meant to tell you this morning that Kelly got her karma. Dude she cheated on Zach with (Jeff) cheated on her! The world has righted itself once again.
D: haha good to know
T: Don’t worry. I’ll keep you informed as things progress in the mornings.
D: ok good to know
T: Don’t act like you’re not waiting with baited breath!
D: oh my, it’s not an act, but you are funny

SBTB Part Three:

T: Oy. This morning its been chaos with Jessie and Slater. Slater’s old GF came back to town and Jessie went all SWF on him. It’s okay tho, in the end Jessie won
D: haha
T: It was a Jessie-centric morning. Before that [episode], her stepbrother from NY showed up and made her life hell. But Lisa fell for him. But he left. Poor Lisa.
D: poor Lisa… she has Screech. And what about the time Zach made out with her and Screech caught them! God I hate Dustin Diamond.
T: Screech was like an attention rapist. Lisa made it clear from day one she didn’t want him and yet he pursued. His unwanted advances forced her to Zach.
T: He’s a douche now. All those years of being an attention rapist on the show carried through until ultimately there was a sex tape. More forcing himself on us!
D: did you watch the sex tape? I think have a secret crush on Screech
T: You got me. I secretly lust after pale, skinny, curly-haired Jewish attention rapists with anger management issues. SO HOTT!

text me, baby

Standard

The text conversations (textversations, if you will) with Dean have been getting ridiculous and fun lately. These may only be humorous to me, but I feel the desire to post them anyway. Here are two recent ones.

ONE
Back story: Don’t ask why, but he decided to start calling me Mrs. Fergusterson instead of by my name earlier that day. Also, we have an ongoing bet that I will destroy him in MarioKart on the Wii, but he insists he will be victorious.

D: guess who’s back
T: Michael Jackson in zombie form? Slim Shady? The McRib?
D: no, the power to my phone
T: well I suppose that’s more awesome than those other options
D: you suppose? fired
T: well come on, a zombie MJ is hard to beat but I still gave it to you
D: fail
T: I am full of win and you know it
D: this is almost as much fail as you vs. me in Mariokart
T: all I read in that comment was “blah blah blah tovah you’re so pretty blah blah blah you’re awesome”
D: who is this tovah you speak of, mrs. fergusterston? and if you can’t read put on your glasses
T: *sad face*

TWO
Backstory: we went to the beach on Sunday and I spent the night as usual. The next day I realized I forgot something.

T: I think I left my earrings at your house. Unrelated: OMFG my lips are sunburned! Such an odd sensation
D: left them at my house huh… why do you think you can do that? Haha. I know that is a weird sensation.
T: Why? I don’t know. Maybe… little reminders of me? Marking my territory? Fumbling around in the dark? All of the above?
T: Watch it or I’m gonna start leaving my toothbrush there. And maybe a bra/panties set. Or maybe even toiletries. *gasp*
D: oh no!
T: Oh but yes! And then my stuff will grow and multiply and take over your life! Muahahahaha!
D: evil laughs ftw

lessons from construction

Standard

I don’t talk about work much to too many people. I’m not sure anyone in my life truly knows what I do for a living except maybe my mom. It’s no secret that I work in construction, I just don’t write about it much. I really don’t think work is something you need to share with the world unless you can be totally anonymous about it, can make it hilarious, or unless you really love your job and can refrain from naming names, locations, etc. I happen to really love my job, employer, and the people I work with.

That being said, I’ve worked in construction for the last 8 years (3 with my dad, 5 with my current employer) and have learned quite a few things (I’m sure this will be edited as I go):

1.) No one knows how to shut a fucking door. They will either slam it, push it back and hope it latches, or just leave it wide open. The worse the weather, the more likely this is to occur.

2.) Copiers and fax machines will baffle even the most intelligent engineer, manager, or superintendent.

3.) The day after you wash your car, you will come to work and find a mud pit, “dust control” in action with sweepers running the compound, or fresh excavation that morning.

4.) Cleavage is a powerful tool and so is a smile, but cleavage coupled with a smile is a lethal combination that will benefit you greatly if used properly. Don’t abuse it.

5.) Men do in fact go through PMS. I haven’t yet figured out if it’s in sync with their wives/girlfriends or if it’s a cycle all of their own, but they do go through PMS and it’s interesting to say the least.

6.) Despite sitting right by the door and having windows all around, everyone will inform you of the weather currently going on as though you’re too stupid to discern this information for yourself. For example: “It’s really raining out there!” Are you sure? I didn’t notice all the muddy footprints, the sound of the rain slamming the metal roof, or the water leaking in my window.

7.) Much like washing your vehicle brings on dust control, the day you wear white clothing and/or flat sandals with your feet fully exposed is the day you will get torrential downpour out of the blue and end up with mud all over you. It’s the Murphy’s law of construction and fashion.

8.) Delivery drivers have no concept of how to utilize a map, the internet, GPS, or any other way of obtaining directions. It’s not as though their job is to DELIVER things and would necessitate figuring out where the fuck they’re going. No no, they rely on YOU to direct them from Bumfuck, Egypt to your jobsite.

9.) You can answer the phone “Good morning/afternoon ________ CONSTRUCTION” and people will still ask to order a pizza, look for a lost debt, or think you’re an elementary school. Fail.

10.) Just because someone doesn’t speak English doesn’t mean they don’t understand it perfectly. As a result, always treat the laborers with respect.

11.) You may think Latinos outnumber all others and run the construction game, but you’re wrong. Rednecks are tied for first place. You’d also be surprised to know just how high the gay population is.

12.) Men are just as (if not more than) obsessed as women when it comes to weight, dieting and exercise. It’s downright terrifying because it’s not even a macho “well I can bench press 450!” it’s more like “make sure you order diet coke, not regular” and “I’ve started eating salads more to cut carbs” and it’s scary.

13.) Always lock the bathroom door!

14.) A $1 box of brownie mix can be magically transformed into a cure-all mood elevator when brought in to work “just because”. (Down side of this: they will think that you can bake and will ask you to make baked goods ALL THE TIME)

15.) An empty box of Tampax is the most effective theft deterrent on the market.

I ♥ You, bloggie

Standard

I really love this little ♥/♣/♦-point style of posting. So much cuter than straight up bullet-points.

♥ In an effort to try and break free from the old and move on into the new, I changed my twitter account name last night. Okay, so really I had two all along. I kept one for bitching about the ex and then my main one. However, I didn’t want to lose my old name since it’s such a part of me so I basically just switched the usernames on the accounts. I know, very confusing. I’m now hexypea on twitter. I even added a widget to the blog over there →

♣ I wish I spoke dog more fluently. I have no idea how to make Nola happy some times and it frustrates me. I swear, kids might be easier than dogs. At least with human children they can speak, tell you what they want, can be left alone at a certain age, and at some point they move out. People who have children that have also met my dog have told me numerous times that yes, I’m ready for children. We shall see.

♦ My body is playing this fun little game with me now where I pretty much need to find a bathroom (urgently) within 20-120 minutes of completing a meal. It’s making me not want to eat much anymore. The only real perk of this: weight loss. But ultimately, all that is okay because…

♥ …I’m spending more money on gas than I am on food right now. I never thought I’d be so gung-ho to be the one to travel to the man, especially one who doesn’t live alone, but here I am jetting across the highway to hell beltway every chance I get.

♣ I’m starting to become bitter about my relationship with Chet. I don’t like mentioning him. I don’t even like saying his name anymore. I am grateful for the experience with him and could not have learned half the shit I did without him, but at the same time I am being treated so differently by Dean that I can’t help but see the glaringly obvious differences. I’m gonna have to start calling Chet “the ex” now I think.

♦ I don’t get along with caffeine anymore. Turns out this is the cause of all my insane breaking out. I get these deep down painful “please kill me” Mt. Vesuvius sized zits whenever I have more than a normal dose of caffeine. And forget coffee – that’s almost an instant killer. My lack of imbibing caffeine routinely is probably why one can of Diet Coke will keep me up well past my bedtime.

♥ Clearly I wore the wrong dress today because the skin just under my armpits is raw and red. And owie. Mayhaps I should lose the bra? (EDIT: bra gone!)

♣ My neighbors directly below me are always cooking delicious exotic foods. I don’t think they like AC because their screen door is always open, but this works in my favor because I am frequently intoxicated by delicious aromas whenever I walk out onto the balcony. Like right now, for instance, I’m writing this post on my wee outdoor table and i can smell something delightful being prepared.

♦ Dean is completely full of win. The other day I expressed my fierce desire for fresh ink and he said he’d draw on me with an ink pen when he saw me next. I’m going to hold him to this. Then tonight I asked him if he wanted to see one of the cutest things in the world and before I could send a link he said “yes, but I won’t see you till Saturday”. This little part of me thats completely girlie? Yeah it melted a little. (Seriously though, how cute is this little guy??? Squee indeed.)

♥ It is utterly beautiful outside right now. If every summer day had an evening as wonderful as this with perfect temps, a light breeze, and zero humidity, I’d like summer so much more. Being able to sit outside and enjoy a luxury like typing an entry on my laptop is a gift. You know, until my battery screams “Danger Will Robinson! Danger Will Robinson!” No really, it does that. Some times. Okay, not at all, but it should.

♣ I banked two massages through Massage Envy in order to use them for a hot stone massage and I am having that on Saturday. I’ve never done that before so this will be interesting experience. This far, my experience at M.E. has resulted in a male masseuse I made blush that had no idea what “not that hard” meant and then a woman who was deathly afraid of massaging the tushy and the feet. Failure times two. Let’s hope the next one knows what they are doing or I am gonna quit my membership.

♦ I think I need to go to the beach this weekend.

blissfully continued

Standard

You don’t really know how much you’ve missed in the past until you suddenly find yourself inundated with something incredible. I didn’t think my birthday could get any better than it already was, but then I spent the majority of the weekend with Dean and got my birthday expectations blown out of the water entirely.

For years I’ve asked anyone who would listen to take me to a Japanese steakhouse for my birthday. I saw some behind the scenes thing on the food network a few years ago where the guy was trying to learn how to be one of those chefs and I’ve been intrigued ever since. Have I ever gotten this request fulfilled? Nope! See previous entry about formerly bad birthdays.

Dean said he’d take me out Saturday night and then we’d do something Sunday if I stayed over. I got my mom to pet sit for me Sunday so I wouldn’t be pressed for time. I headed across the river a little while after he got off work and gave him a little WoW time (World of Warcraft – this will be discussed in a later entry). When I got there, Dean asked me what I wanted to eat and taking a chance, I asked about a Japanese steakhouse hoping it wasn’t too pricey. Suffice to say, wish granted! Flippin’ sweet!

Being a seasoned vet, Dean walked me through the menu, the procedure, what to order, etc. I got to have a saketini as well. I was fucking giddy as everything went along and I had a ridiculous amount of fun there. I was on cloud nine as we left the place. Being utterly exhausted, I decided I’d rather watch a movie at his house than go out to one. My pick: Zombieland. I loved it! Post movie we just ended up snuggled up and sleeping… and maybe there was a kiss or two.

We woke up late morning Sunday. What did I want to do? “I want a lazy Sunday where I don’t have to think” Cha-ching! Wish granted! We spent the day fooling around, watching movies, sleeping, fooling around some more, and snuggling. Eventually we emerged from the cave and took showers. I got the first one and when I walked back into the room in a towel he looked at me like I was crazy. Apparently taking a 10 minute shower is a wondrous thing and he’s never known a woman who did. Once he got showered and clothed, we headed off to get some food and then to spend some of my gift certificates at Best Buy. We came back, he made me a WoW character (again, later) and got me to start playing a little, then we watched a movie all snuggled up and cuddly. In essence, it was the perfect lazy Sunday and I was beyond happy.

And then? Then things got better.

What started as making out heavily turned into one being naked, then the other being naked, bodies enjoyed, skin pressed together, limbs intertwined, and then the inevitable. I was NOT prepared for nor was I intending to cross that physical line yet, but the heat of the moment took over. Man that heat was toasty hot. Holy hell. It may have been the first time, but I was not unhappy with the events that transpired. Not one bit.

Alas, post-coital I did something stupid. I left. It is one of the few regrets I have and I still wish I had stayed. I left because I have 2 cats and a dog and I am responsible for their little furry lives. Of course a minute after I left I wished I had turned around and 15 minutes later he called me. I said I was tired and he told me to come back. I declined. Damn animals. I told him I’d call when I landed back at home base and drove like hell to get home before my eyes slammed shut. I was greeted by an insanely excited 65-pound-husky-tackle and circular running of insanity. It was a bittersweet moment. I love my babies, but for a minute there I wished things were a little different and that my pets were self-sufficient. Then again, I have that same husky curled up on my feet while I write this and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Anyway… I took Nola out for a walk in the abnormally cool night air, took a long hard look at the beautiful starry night sky, and let out a sigh of relief. I’ve got a damn good life and need to remember that more often. About 2 seconds after I walked in the door and unhooked fuzzbutt’s leash, my phone was ringing. We chatted briefly, mutually regretted my decision to be home, and said our goodnights. The next morning he text messaged me bright and early. I missed him already.

He really is a keeper.

birthday bliss

Standard

On this day, 29 years ago, my screaming little naked tushy was brought into this world.

The last few years (okay like the last 15 or so?) my birthday has been pretty fucking shitty. Immediate family flat out forgot, a lot of bad things happened, and they just flat out sucked. I kind of figured that I had kind of a birthday curse. Even with Chet my birthdays were kinda blah. He wasn’t big on any event where you celebrated life or being happy now that I think about it. The first birthday I shared with him he broke up with me. I kept it quiet for a few weeks and eventually we got back together. Big old fuck you for that one though. And then last year my mom talked him into buying jewelry for me, but I got the feeling he kind of resented me for it and only did it because he respected and loved my mom so much. Aside from that moment, we didn’t do anything for it. We didn’t go out, he didn’t make me dinner… nothing. Such romance!!!!

[ Side note: One of the only good birthdays that has occurred in recent history was with Stone one night. Totally hot, totally sweaty, and totally scandalous. Nuff said on that one. ]

Knowing my track record for birthdays and always dreading them, I decided to take a different approach this year. I decided I would just flat out not have a single expectation whatsoever and see what happened. This may have been the greatest decision I ever made because today has been flat out wonderful. Stellar even. It all started at 12:09am this morning with a text message from Dean wishing me happy birthday. He is so full of win, I can’t even explain it.

Later on my mom came to my jobsite and brought me flowers, tiramisu cake, a bottle of wine, cards from her and my stepdad and my birthday preset; a steam vacuum!!!!!!! Proof of aging: gifts like a steam vac are more thrilling than you can imagine. I got texts, phone calls, and facebook messages all day. Dean text messaged me most of the day too. My boys at work paid for my lunch and then went and got me a cake and a card that everyone signed. My grandpa mailed me two cards. One was in the spirit of my grandma – its one I know she would have picked out. The other one was so funny I snort laughed and then called my mom to share. Included in the cards? Gift certificates! Fuck yeah! My dad even took me out to dinner after work and brought a birthday card full of cash with him. AWESOME!

Even without the gifts though, I just felt great all day. I was happy and smiling all day long, felt great, and was feeling cute in my new clearance rack outfit. I know part of that is because my 20’s are finally on the verge of being over. My 20s have fucking SUCKED. I am SO anxious for 30. (Only 365 days to go!)

Another part is I’m just happy with my life. I realized for the millionth time today that I work with some really great people, I have amazing friends in my life, and my family is absolutely incredible. I even have this pretty fantastic guy in my life who’s making me giggle with delight all the time and misses me when I’m gone. Does it get any better than that? I don’t think so. I am truly blessed and truly happy.

What a great birthday!

weekend of fun

Standard

I spent the majority of the weekend with Dean and it was wonderful.

I went out Friday night with my friend E for drinks, gushing over guys, and to discuss her latest drama. Apparently all I did was smile like an ass when asked questions about Dean. Then his plans changed, he text messaged me, and the minute I broke from my girl time (she had to pick her husband up from work) I bolted home, shaved my legs, and sprinted across the beltway.

We hung out for a while and then ended up seeing Sex and the City 2 with his mom. You know, this could be weird in other circumstances, but it just kinda worked and I was totally chill with it. The movie was awful. It was even worse than I anticipated. Thank God we used free passes from a previous date and didn’t pay a dime. Too bad the damn movie got out at 1am! He works most Saturdays so we crashed in his bed the minute we got back. In the morning, I dragged my carcass home and then spent the day cleaning. Longest. Day. Ever.

Sunday he came over to my place. The initial plan was to take this unassembled IKEA wardrobe to my moms house (she was off camping) and bring Nola with us so we could take her for a hike afterwards. Yeah except I didn’t account for the holiday weekend making everything crazy busy and overcrowded. It was almost a million degrees outside. Two parks attempted, two parks failed. We said fuck it, took Nola back home, watched some movies, ordered in Chinese food, and spent the entire time wrapped in a million different positions of twisted up spaghetti.

He’s VERY affectionate and touchy. In the past, this somewhat repulsed me in other males. Mainly because with touchy they also brought a hearty serving of clingy bastard. I don’t do clingy. I pretty much loathe it. Well Dean isn’t clingy and as a result, this touchy feely thing? I dig it.

Eventually I dragged us to bed because it was late and I refused to let him drive across the beltway that tired. That, and I sleep so well with him that I didn’t want him to leave. That lead to making out and fooling around. I will spare the details, but we still haven’t crossed the sex line all the way. Something happened, but we kept it to a minimum. I’m glad we did. I really don’t want to cross the sex line yet. Sex changes everything. Don’t get me wrong; I’m insanely attracted to him and I want to jump his bones like you wouldn’t believe, but I just don’t want to rush it. I want it mean something. A far cry from my years of slutting it up, eh? We did, however, establish that we are only seeing each other and that we are “dating”. YAY!

He left in the morning and had his day to attend to. I felt a pang of… well I don’t exactly know what I felt, but I wasn’t thrilled that he was gone. I got over it though, read a book, and then hit the hay. All in all, a REALLY good weekend with this awesome male.