I’m not gone, I’ve just been traveling. And sick. And dating. Me behind on entries = one long one.
Yeah. So. I went down south for a work thing and spent the weekend there. Part of it was a party to celebrate the company’s 50th anniversary. The other part was a volunteer service project. Of the thousand or so people they flew down for the party (and to be fair, a lot of people had their spouses/significant others with them) only about 150 people stayed on for the service project. When I volunteered it was 3 months ago and I was done with Chet. I figured “well he’s not coming to the party with me anymore so I might as well volunteer.”
The party was nice and very swanky. I wore a very pretty dress I bought off ebay about 2 or 3 years ago that I never got to wear. Despite feeling the size of a blimp, apparently I looked really really pretty because I got about a million compliments. It was very nice, but frankly, I’m not much of a party person. I drink hard and fast and then stop. If I don’t, I do VERY stupid things. As it stands, I managed to send of a picture or two on my phone to this guy I’m sorta dating. Being the gentleman he is, he didn’t let me keep doing that. We’ll get there in a few. Anyway, once I upgraded to whiskey it was all over. I quit drinking and then took one of the shuttle buses back to the hotel to get some rest.
The next morning was the service project. Basically we supplied the labor (and I think we paid for part of it?) to build a playground from the ground up in one day. Yeah. It was definitely a backbreaking event and I got thrown on mulch duty (suck!) but at the beginning of the afternoon we were done. We busted ass and opened up the playground that day for the kids. I won’t lie, I got choked up when the kids were thanking us. I felt like I DID something and a good something at that.
We all headed back to the hotel or office and by the time I got there, I didn’t even have the energy to shower, but I had to. I had mulch in places one should never have mulch! Post-shower I felt better but I was exhausted. I managed to pick up dinner from across the street and then lay down on the bed with a book. Sunday I got to spend the entire day traveling and experiencing different degrees of hell on earth. For example: I’m a little claustrophobic and the train that takes you from security to the terminal gates went apeshit, slammed the brakes causing injuries, and got stuck in the tunnel for what felt like an eternity.
Yeah. Suckville. But eventually I made it home. Okay but really, this entry is more about the man. I think part of my lapse in posting is my hesitance to write about him. I’m always paranoid and have irrational superstitions about dating. I’m also afraid of him finding this and not understanding. But whatever. I also need to get it out of my system.
I really wish I understood men. A magic device that interpreted the actions and words would be ever so helpful. You’d think other men would be able to help me figure this out but it turns out each man has his own opinion and none of them concur. If they can’t decipher their own gender then I think it’s safe to assume that I never will.
I mentioned a male in the bullet/heart point entry (heart point #2) and his name is Dean.
To recap, he was a yenta-approved male from eHarmony and we had a date and it was nice. The first date was food, meeting in person, the usual jitters and butterflies, a trip to the bookstore to scout out books and read a little, and then headed back. We had an awkward goodbye because I can’t read men to save my life and I’m ridiculously out of practice on dating. The second date (first attempt) I was already going to be in his neck of the woods so we made plans to go out. Then he went MIA and I didn’t hear from him for days. Finally I saw him in facebook briefly so I emailed him on there. A sarcastic possibly a tiny bit guilt trippy quick email. He replied the next day and we got back into talking.
About this time I caught the chest cold from hell that started as a wee tickle in the throat and morphed into sinus pain, coughing, snot, and eventually the loss of my voice. Still, Dean and I kept talking, but at this point I assumed I was in the friend-zone so I kept it a certain way with him. Basically I stopped trying. We talked pretty much every day in some way or another and again, I kept it pretty nonchalant. Being sick helped this and as the weekend rolls around, mine starts with a NyQuil bender on Friday night and I pass out until late in the day Saturday. By Saturday afternoon I’m antsy to get out of the house. Dean says I should come out and see a movie with him, I agree. I drive across the beltway while doped up quite heavily on the last of my DayQuil. Guess who forgot her other bag of cough drops? THIS GIRL!
So figuring that I’m in the friends zone and I’m sick as fuck, I showed up wearing jeans and this shirt. (It’s safe to click, but in case the link vanishes one day, it’s a shirt with a little bar of soap with a caption that says “rub me on your butt!” Like I said, I wasn’t trying anymore, wasn’t thinking clearly, and was sick. This shirt is an attention getter to say the least.
When I picked him up, my voice was obliterated, but I was in a great mood and laughing a lot thus coughing a lot. We ended up running to get me some meds and then headed to the movie. Then it got confusing.
He paid for the movie. He also went and got me a big bottle of cold water since I was coughing. Every time I moved in my seat, he asked if I was okay. At some point he got a little flirty. He even patted my back a couple times. The heat was effed in the theater so we got free movie vouchers which I directed to him since he paid. Then it got even more confusing when I dropped him back at home and we went to say goodbye. the shirt came up in conversation and lead to giggles and a gesture or two. We hugged goodbye and I swear, dude gave me the “I want to kiss you” look. It might have happened if not for me hacking up a lung and his hesitance.
I drove home utterly confused. I thought for sure I was in the friend zone, but then all signs pointed to perhaps a third date? Flash forward to this week. I knew I was gonna be in Maryland again because I had another biteguard fitting before my trip south. I told him I’d be there Thursday and asked if he wanted to go to dinner, my treat. He said yes and after my appointment, I went over to his place to pick him up. We went off to dinner and then went back to his place… and I met his mom. Okay, so dude lives with his mom. It’s a long justified story and I’m not going to say anything more than that. I’m okay with it and that’s what matters.
We watched a little TV and got a little cuddly which was quite nice, and then eventually migrated to his room to fuck around on the computer and watch a movie. More sporadic cuddly moments ensued and before I knew it, it was after midnight! Holy shit! I had an hour drive home, hadn’t packed yet for my weekend, and had to be out of the house by 7:45am to get on a plane. FUCK! In essence, I had to leave. He walked me out and after a night of being cuddly, the conclusion of date #3, and my need for a little progress, I was dying for him to kiss me. FINALLY after a long hug and some Eskimo kisses, I got a real one.
Wow. Just wow.
I may be rusty on dating and it’s been a long time since I actually kissed someone without it immediately leading to sex, but that was definitely a wow moment.
I headed back to Virginia high as a kite and couldn’t even function when I finally rolled in the door at 1:30am. I was too scattered to do anything so I forced myself to sleep at 2am. I woke back up at 6am to pack my suitcase, take the dog out, shower, get in gear, and made it out the door right on time.
Texting ensued throughout the weekend including my drunken stupidity where I mentioned sparkles on my boobage and he said I needed to prove it. Yeah, he provoked me in good fun. For some reason I got it in my head that my craptastic cellphone camera could capture the glitter on my boobs (from the dress) so I attempted photos. First in a bra to no avail, then a braless (but nips-covered) shot. No luck. At this point he told me no more pictures and went back to normal texting convo like I hadn’t just made an ass of myself. He was a gentleman. How awesome is that?
So yeah… that’s where we stand. We keep in touch pretty much daily either through text messages, IMing, or a random phone call here and there. I still can’t totally figure out what’s up with him and he’s hard to read, but I am immensely comfortable around him. I drift off into this deep calm when I’m around him and just become completely at ease. Everything is so simple and easy and just chill. I have fun doing the stupidest things and I look forward to seeing him. I haven’t been bothered by the hour driving nor have I been bothered by who’s turn it is when to drive to who. It doesn’t seem to matter. If I’m in his area I try to make it work and he’s going to come to me soon again. It all feels pretty fair and even, but there’s none of that score keeping I became all too familiar with when I was with Chet.
I don’t want to read too much into it so I’m not. I haven’t even pestered the hell out of my male friends about it either. I’ve kept it pretty breezy (except when Dean blew me off) and despite the rocky beginning, it feels like there’s potential and I kinda maybe like him.
There… I’m caught up on the boy.